The Thoughts Vortex

The scene is set! You go up the stairs to the bedroom, your fortress of solitude. Brush your teeth, remove your contacts, check you don’t need to urinate. You lay down on the comfy bed, close your eyes then…

CD Player, I had one when I was younger. I have to go to that meeting tomorrow. What did she mean by I have missed some deadlines. I need to do more exercise. Am I getting fat. I hope my friend will be ok. I wonder how Kiefer Sutherland will survive this one. Can’t wait for Games of Thrones. Need to get the garden finished. Squirrel! I love dogs. I should listen to more music. Why do I need to attend that meeting. I didn’t realise I had missed many deadlines, we are very busy. Can’t wait to get out on my bike. I love chocolate. Its a minor surgery. I want to watch the next episode. Should I watch the whole series again. The pond needs to be bigger. Pheasant!

I focussed on going to bed but in truth these thought vortex can happen anytime. The worst part is it does not mean you are distracted. This can occur while in meetings, doing exercise or having a discussion. Its like trying to concentrate with constant noise around you or trying to speak in a loud night club.

While once a week may not produce any adverse affects, two or three times a day becomes wearing. You begin to show signs of fatigue and a general feeling of blur! Effect is moving and small things cause irritation. You become that snappy person that normally you would pretend to hold a handbag to your chest about a say “ohhhhh”.

Once, it became so bad while I was in a noisy supermarket, I held my head as I felt anger and frustration build up inside me. The extra noise around me was adding to the vortex, neither could be stopped. It would only have taken a tiny push to make me blow up.

Thankfully, getting to the blow up stage and moving beyond has only happened once in my life. I remember shouting “shut up” as I hit the floor with my fists before collapsing in a teary heap. The person who caused me to go over the edge hadn’t shut up, hence the finale of fist smashing. Better that than aggression towards a person. The worst part, is the constant head vortex didn’t stop, only the extra external irritation stopped. It took 3 hours before I got up off my kitchen floor. By then I was so tired I went to bed.

There are ways of coping but not controlling. There are ways of reducing the anger but not curing. When the vortex really whips up, concentration is the key. I’m not talking about forcing yourself you focus on something. I mean something you natural focus on. Games on the console, painting, spin classes, iPad games. Anything that naturally keeps your mind focussed without having to put any effort in. Or, as with me, multiple things. I’ll paint, may go for a cycle or play games on my iPad.

One more tip, explain the problem to people close by. They can always help when you need time away from others. I always have issues with particularly loud noises. My number one hated noise, hand dryers. Wet hands on my jeans every time. If I wanted the loud sound of a hover that’s gone wrong stuck in my ears, I would buy the album off iTunes. I’m sure that album exists, 101 special effects to annoy the whole family.

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